Tuesday, January 15, 2013

I need to get in the picture

Awhile back there was a wonderful article in the Huffington Post about mom's shedding their fears of imperfection and getting in the picture with their children more.  And then today I was reminded of the article again when a friend shared this blog post.  As I read this blog tears filled my eyes as I thought of my own sweet babies and how precious and perfect they are to me.  One of my greatest fears is that my terrible memory will erase all the moments I want to remember.  I fear that I will forget what Austin's head feels like nestled in my neck as he sleeps on my chest.  I fear that I will forget Jackson's first smile that early morning when it was just the two of us and he only 6 weeks old.  Or Austin's gentle and wise smile that shows more wisdom than his little 21 month old life will allow.  Or how Jackson's little face glowed by the light of his biliruben bed when he was born with jaundice.  These are the moments I want to keep deep inside forever, so that I can relive them over and over again as I need.  I am guilty of shying away from the camera because I don't want to be remembered with my hair in a ponytail and no make-up.  I hide from pictures because I hate how much I weigh and I'm usually in a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt anyway, but the reality is that that tired woman that I'm afraid to capture in hard copy is the same woman that is the mother of my children.  And no one will ever love them like I do.  Thank you to the women who remind me of the importance of capturing moments in pictures no matter how much I knit-pick at myself.  I can still feel what it was like sitting in my own mother's imperfect lap and how much I loved listening to her breathe and talk.  Looking at pictures of the two of us when I was small and she, too, hated being in pictures takes me back to when I was a child at that moment and I relive it all over again.  How grateful I am for her and for the pictures I have of the two of us.

Here are a few of my "mommy moments" that, thank heaven, have been captured.

Jackson (3 weeks) and me

Jackson (1 year) and me

Austin (1 year) and me




2 comments:

  1. Great post, Raylene. And, just so you know - you are beautiful and your soul radiates in each picture. I have loved that about you since meeting you in RS so eight years ago :) Your boys are blessed to have you as their mother! -Arika

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  2. Arika, you are so kind, thank you.
    Can you believe that it's been 8 years since we met. That's crazy!!

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